Connecting with parents

Many teachers use the relationships and the trust that they engender with parents to lay the foundation for student success. Unfortunately, in my years as a teacher and a principal, I too often observed an unhealthy dynamic between teachers and parents. Such teachers commonly found parents to be people that they needed to “deal with.” They viewed them as nuisances, if not worse. They wanted parents to stay out of their way and let them do their thing. After all, they were the experts.

Parents, for their part, can be quick to get upset with teachers for such things as rules, policies, perceived negative attitudes towards their child and, of course, poor student performance.

The sad reality is that the ones who suffer most from this tension are children. They need to feel the security of the rapport between school and home, rather than to be confused by an undercurrent of disharmony. As the African proverb states, “when two elephants fight, it’s the grass that gets trampled.”

education, leadership, relationshipsNaphtali HoffOctober 14, 2015education, connection, teachers, parents, relatingComment

There’s A Cubs Fan in Every Jew

There are times when we can be moderately negative about the imminence of mashiach’s arrival. Certainly there are no believing Jews who are not completely resolute in their conviction about the eventual coming of mashiach. After all, the most famous and commonly repeated principle in Rambam’s list of fundamental Jewish beliefs states, “I believe with a complete faith in the coming of mashiach. And even if he tarries, every day I await his arrival.” Every trusting Jew embraces this concept.

However, the idea of mashiach coming imminently, as in today, can often seem as far removed as a Cubs championship, if not even further. Consider this, from Rav Shimon Schwab, zt’l, who recounted his youthful perspective on the idea of mashiach:

Naphtali HoffOctober 14, 2015Comment

Connecting with our students

As teachers, we know that there is more to our jobs than sharing content and enhancing student skills. We understand intuitively that in order to fully reach our students we need to connect with them and create the right atmosphere for learning. The research of Dr. John Hattie confirmed this when concluding that the most effective way to improve education was to raise the quality of pupil-teacher interactions.

Below is a list of strategies that can help you establish healthy, meaningful relationships with your students and interact in a manner that is healthy and fulfilling.

Set the proper tone. Find ways with which to positively engage students from the outset. Greet them as they enter the room with a “good morning” and a high-five. Smile when you see them and let them know that you’re happy that they’re there. Convey the message that you expect a great day from them and anticipate their success.

Create a healthy learning environment. One of the most powerful educational quotes that I have ever read has nothing to do with teaching. The author, former teacher and child psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott, wrote about the central role that teachers play in making the classroom’s “weather.”

Celebrating Without Our “Things”

On Shemini Atzeres we also have no mitzvos. Unlike the holiday of Succos that precedes it, this day (two in the Diaspora) does not come along with any distinctive commandments, nor does it demand much in terms of advanced preparation. Neither does it seem to have any particular identity; perhaps it is the least understood of all of the Jewish holidays. What exactly is the nature of Shemini Atzeres and why did Hashem include this day in the Jewish calendar?

Keeping your foot on the pedal

It’s not always so simple to increase production or to quickly find additional talent to bring aboard. There is also a mindset of goal targeting, which affects leaders and their teams. Once the target goal has been met, we naturally shift into low gear and perhaps even want to call it a day, so to speak. Lastly, increased demand may be “slowed” by increased “traffic,” such as rising costs. These could include investments in infrastructure, recruiting, training and the like. For some people all of the extra time and effort needed to service the “new riders” may diminish their enthusiasm and leave business prospects out in the rain.

In order for businesses to respond well to demand hikes, they may wish to consider these strategies:

Plan ahead. It can be very difficult to look down the road when you have to manage the here and now. Successful leaders know, however, that the status quo is usually not where they want to remain indefinitely. Begin by envisioning a better tomorrow and the changes that such a development will require. Develop an action plan for the eventuality (at least in general terms), including how you may adjust administrative roles and meet staffing demands (such as by maintaining a candidate pool). More about that below.

businessNaphtali HoffOctober 3, 2015leadership, leaders, business, demand, spike, taxis, cabComment

What to say when you have no words - A Jewish look at simcha

Succos is called “zman simchaseinu.” The reasons for this are many but the underlying theme for all of them is that this time of year is particularly joyful and one that we should experience in a celebratory fashion.

But how can we be joyous when four orphans must mourn for their murdered parents, who brutal deaths they witnessed firsthand? How can we sing and celebrate when bloodthirsty murderers extoll their deaths and encourage more, training their children to hate Jews and conduct jihad?

What kind of smile should come to our lips as we watch footage of Jewish worshippers in the Old City, including children and even infants, who are mercilessly harassed on their way to or from the Western Wall?

relationships, spiritualityNaphtali HoffOctober 3, 2015happiness, joy, simcha, sukkotComment

A Coach Approach to Teshuva

We need to realize that error and sin are as central to the human condition as any other quality. We all make mistakes and will do so every day of our lives. We must be willing to accept them and have the self-confidence and integrity to admit it when we do. Our ability and willingness to do this, perhaps more than anything else, will allow us to take control of our repentance process and our lives in general.

Once we have come to terms with our sinful conduct, we typically begin to feel charata (regret). Whether the victim of our deeds is another person or Hashem (or both), we need to be able to express our regret clearly and without condition. To do that, consider following these steps:

Apologize sincerely – Saying “I am sorry” must communicate genuine regret for your behavior and a wish that you had acted differently.
Take complete ownership – Avoid shifting the blame (“I apologize that you misunderstood me,” “I am sorry that you felt that way,” etc.). Doing so greatly diminishes the apologizer’s effectiveness. Stating that the other person was partly responsible for what occurred or for his hurt feelings places the listener on the defensive, and causes them to consider you to be disingenuous and perhaps even accusatory. And that is no way to apologize.
Avoid excuses – State your error directly, without justification. To the listener’s ear, excuses not only feel like an attempt to validate the wrongdoing, they may even sound like an attack, as if the plaintiff was inconsiderate to hold him accountable in the first place.
State how you intend to fix things – Articulating your intent to correct matters, including restitution (pei’raon) where needed, will do wonders to convince the listener of your sincerity. It should be simple, realistic and detailed.
Follow through – Few things damage a relationship more than when a person sets expectations for change and then does not follow through. In many ways, it is worse than not having apologized in the first place. When we do not act as promised, others question our will and our trustworthiness.

Naphtali HoffSeptember 17, 2015Comment

Foster a growth mindset

A fixed mindset refers to the belief that skill and capacity are fundamentally attached to a person’s genetic composition. Either you “have it” and are good at it, or you’re not. This applies to everything from academics (“I’m not much of a math guy”) to business and social situations (“I don’t know marketing,”) as well as music, athletics, and more.

Those with growth mindsets, on the other hand, tend to believe that skills can be learned, at least to some degree of proficiency. They maintain and that success depends mainly on one’s willingness to learn, practice and pursue their goals. These men and women are not content to rest on their laurels. They continuously strive to learn new things and to develop new capabilities. They do so in part because of a great drive to succeed. But they also possess a deep sense that they can stretch their inborn talents if they are willing to make the effort.

leadership, coaching, relationshipsNaphtali HoffSeptember 8, 2015leaders, leadership, growth, mindset, learning, teaching, inspirationComment

Own Your Board

It goes without saying that the chief executive must make board relations a top priority. While board function and impact range significantly between companies and organizations, it is the board’s responsibility, at the minimum, to evaluate you and your work in advancing the organization. (They are also typically tasked with fiduciary oversight and maintenance of the mission.) As with any evaluative process, you want to position yourself on the right side of things, interpersonally and in terms of establishing an agreed-to and properly supported agenda.

leadership, coachingNaphtali HoffAugust 20, 2015leaders, leadership, board development, board of directors, relationshipsComment

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