How to Break Through When You’re Stuck - Part II

In a previous post, we laid out a number of action steps that can help someone who feels stuck to break through and get things done. Here are some additional steps that can make the difference between languishing behind paralyzing inaction and crushing it with empowering achievement.

Find a mentor who is one chapter ahead of you – When you don’t know what to do next to, find someone who does. Ideally, this should be someone who just walked a mile in your shoes. They will not only be current in their thinking and approaches, but will likely be more willing to share their experiences and help you grow more quickly than you could do alone.
Get a coach – Coaches are trained to ask penetrating, elucidating questions that push aside the clutter and clear a pathway forward. Great coaches help you overcome gremlins and limiting beliefs and forge ahead with greater confidence.
Be prepared to learn – Sometimes, the difference between staying put and moving forward is the ability and willingness to learn new information or skills. Don’t assume that yesterday’s knowledge can always solve today’s problems. Figure out where your gaps are and hit the books, video, course, etc.

business, leadership, mindsetNaphtali HoffFebruary 5, 2018Impactful Coaching & Consultingbusiness, leadership, breakthrough, successComment

Finding the Meaning in Our Work

As I researched this topic, I was struck by the extent by which all people, not just back office or less prominent professionals, identify meaning and purpose as central elements of their job satisfaction. We all seek affirmation and want to know that the work that we do makes a difference. Mary Kay Ash once said, “Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.' Never forget this message when working with people.”

Money alone is not what motivates us. In fact, while meaningful pay is certainly a key element in selecting and remaining in a job, compensation is usually not at the top of what motivates us to come to work every day. Purpose, more than any quality, is what we value most.

Connection: The Anti-Silo

It’s a central part of far too many organizations. Bickering. The lack of healthy communication. Folks sitting quietly at their desks, hoping to stay under the radar and not be burdened with more work, let alone someone else’s work. People prioritizing their wants and needs over those of the team, or those of their own team over the organization as a whole.

Territorialism. Silos.

Silo mentalities and the turf wars that they enable devastate organizations by wasting resources, killing productivity, and threatening goal achievement.

From Resolution to Achievement: 8 Tips for Making Your New Year’s Commitments Stick

Yesterday was New Years and, if you are like most people, you took some time to reflect on the outgoing year and set some resolutions for the year ahead. Maybe you decided to make a lifestyle change, such as eating healthier and exercising more. Perhaps you determined that it was time for more work-life balance or to travel more often. You may have set some business-related goals, such as making more sales calls or taking other action steps that will improve your bottom line.

These, or any other constructive goals, are the first step in living a better, more fulfilled life.

But we know that for so many, New Year’s resolutions are more commonly associated with failed aspirations and wishful thinking than with real, sustained change. We promise ourselves that we will think and do differently, but often quickly lapse into the same bad habits that promoted us to make said resolutions in the first place.

Are You Taking a Workplace Lonely?

For millions of people worldwide, the act of taking selfies has become an integral part of the social media experience. Selfies are internationally pervasive and evoke strong reactions from those that encounter them.

In a hysterical clip about selfies, comedian Sebastian Maniscalco hits hard on selfie takers. In his words, the act of taking a selfie should be called “taking a lonely.” “Do you know how alone you have to be,” he asks, “to take a picture of yourself?”

As funny as Maniscalco’s rant is, there is a deep element of scientific truth in it. For many, selfie taking is, in fact, the product of being alone. Lead researcher Dr Peerayuth Charoensukmongkol, of the National Institute of Development Administration (NIDA), Bangkok, said: ‘Not only do individuals who become obsessed with taking selfies tend to feel that their personal lives and psychological well-being are damaged, but they may feel that relationship qualities with others are also impaired.

NIDA researchers also found that a vast majority of those studied spent more than 50 per cent of their spare time on either their mobile phone or scouring the internet. Moreover, experts believe that both men and women who have lonely personalities tend to take more selfies for approval from other people.

leadership, business, coaching, relationshipsNaphtali HoffDecember 18, 2017Impactful Coaching & Consultingloneliness, sociability, leadershipComment

What’s Your One Sentence?

In his bestselling book Drive (pp. 154-155), author Dank Pink references a conversation between Congresswoman Claire Boothe Luce and President John F. Kennedy. Sensing that the president had too many competing agendas, she sought to focus him by asking him to think about his “one sentence”.

Each great person, she said, has a single sentence that describes him/her. For Abrhama Lincoln, she said, it was “He preserved the union and freed the slaves”. In the case of FDR, a fitting single sentence would be, “He lifted us up from the Great Depression and helped us win a world war”. Because of his competing agendas, Luce felt that Kennedy’s one sentence would instead become an overly muddled paragraph.

We all can have single sentences that describe us, even if our contributions are not as deep and lasting as the aforementioned presidents. Whether they say something about us as individuals, as leaders or as community contributors, having the ability to construct a single sentence that captures our essence can serve as a great guidepost and motivator.

Get to know the job well

My first leadership experience was the most unusual, most unexpected and most fleeting management role that I ever held. When I was a high school senior, I was asked if I could provide supervision in a kosher restaurant in Manhattan on Saturday nights. I didn't live too far from the place and wanted to earn some extra cash, so I agreed. The position, I was told, included oversight in the kitchen, and, because I could be in and out, manning the cash register.

The first night was going pretty smoothly. It took me a short while to learn the inner workings of the establishment's kitchen and how to operate the register. Not bad, I thought, for $10 an hour. But then, the head waiter told me that I had a phone call.

"Is this the manager?" asked the woman on the line. "Manager?" I thought. I hesitated, thinking that he had called the wrong person to the phone. I asked her to hold and went back to the head waiter. He explained to me that every kosher supervisor who works in that restaurant is also the manager, so yes; I was the right one to answer. I picked the phone back up. The woman, by now confused and a bit annoyed, asked incredulously, "are you sure that you're the manager?" With the confidence of a censored child I meekly replied to the affirmative. Let's just say that I've had better leadership moments than that one.

business, coaching, leadershipNaphtali HoffNovember 27, 2017Impactful Coaching & Consutlingleader, leadership, learningComment

Your approach to problem-solving: diet or regimen?

Until recently, I had never dieted. I simply didn’t need to. I come from a family of fast metabolisms and was always able to eat more or less what I had wanted without worrying about added girth. Even when my waistline started to expand, it wasn’t significant, certainly not enough to truly conscience the idea of dieting.

In addition, I had seen what happened to so many others who had set out to diet. Too often, they failed miserably. Some were unable to stay sufficiently disciplined. Others lost the weight that they wanted (and often even more) but quickly gained it back. If I was going to do something about my weight, it would have to be done in a way that I would achieve a different, more sustainable outcome.

So recently, when I decided that it was time for me to again fit comfortably into some old clothing, I put myself on an exercise regimen, rather than a diet. Though I had knew that weight loss comes primarily through changes in one’s eating habits, I felt that if I could first become disciplined establishing a demanding exercise regimen, I would be able to create a more sustainable approach to healthy living and, as a result, weight management.

business, coaching, leadershipNaphtali HoffNovember 13, 2017Impactful Coaching & Consultingleader, leadership, diet, workout, problem solving, regimenComment

No More Excuses

We all make excuses. Whether they cover up for why we were late (“There was no parking”), provide a reason as to why we didn’t do that errand that our spouse requested (“It didn’t get into my to-do list”), seek to justify why we broke our diet (“There we SO many sweets on the table”), or attempt to explain why we didn’t get the business deal (“My competition swept in and undercut me”), we use excuses throughout our day to justify our errors and explain away our failings.

The reason that we do this, according to psychologists, is to protect ourselves against anxiety and shame. It is simply easier to blame external factors than ourselves for our lack of achievement or for letting ourselves or others down. The problem is that the more that we make excuses, the likelier we are to build barriers that will impede our chances of attaining meaningful goals in the future.

While excuse making is common problem for everyone, it can be particularly problematic for leaders. Leaders are responsible for their own work as well as those that they lead. When leaders excuse away failures, they lower the standard at which they operate, which will inevitably reduce their productivity and impact. Worse, such behavior helps to create a culture of excuse-making that quickly trickles down the pipeline. In no time, people throughout the organization feel vindicated in justifying their miscues or lack of production. And if the boss makes his/her own excuses all the time, who is going to call them on it?

business, coaching, leadershipNaphtali HoffOctober 16, 2017leadership, ownership, excusesComment

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