Posts tagged happiness
It's time you hopped offer the treadmill

You keep doing more and earning more. Yet, you’re not any happier than before.

Ever wonder why? It’s because you’re on the hedonic treadmill.

The hedonic treadmill, also known as hedonic adaptation, refers to our tendency to return to a relatively stable level of happiness or satisfaction after experiencing positive or negative events or changes in our lives.

In other words, it's the concept that our happiness levels tend to revert to a baseline despite significant life events or changes.

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Does work make you sad?

My friend, a recent immigrant to Israel who travels "home" to the US multiple times per year on business, told me that he feels sad every time he returns to the US. He would much rather be in Israel. This, despite having lived in the US for most of his life (he’s well into his 50s).

As he told me that, it struck me how many people must feel sadness different elements of their work.

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Focus on Experiences, Not Things

For the longest time, common wisdom held that, when it comes to happiness, things trump experiences. The logic was that if you pay for an experience, like a night out, it will be over and done with quickly. All you’ll have left is a fleeting memory that speedily evaporates into the ether. But if you buy a tangible thing, it’ll be around for a long time and can offer repeated opportunities for usage and happiness.

Yet, research makes clear that experiences make people happier than do possessions. Sure, owning a new gadget may be satisfying or even thrilling for a short while. But the thrill always fades as we become used to the (not so) new, shiny item and it fades into the backdrop. Soon, we find ourselves back in the same mental “place,” seeking our next purchase or gift to experience a new rush.

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How to Make Work More Satisfying

For many of us, a large portion of our days is spent at work. In fact, the average person will spend a total 90,000 hours – or approximately a third of their lifetime – at work.

The sad reality is that according to a recent Pew study, 30% of American workers view their days as something to get through (“just a job to get them by”) rather than a source of real satisfaction, let alone an opportunity to grow and contribute.

90,000 hours is a heck of a lot of time to burn through.

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Appreciating What We Have

It can be easy for all of us, especially the chronic complainers amongst us, to see the glass as half empty. Particularly in a society that makes many promises and encourages us to think that we deserve every last convenience and pleasure, it can be easy to fall into the trap of complaint when things don’t go our way. But if we just take the time to look at things from another’s perspective, we can often see that we have it good even when it doesn’t always appear that way.

So how can we start to see things from another’s perspective? And how can we adjust our thinking to be more thankful for what we have and see our life’s glasses as being half full?

  1. Adjust your paradigm – In his book, “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People”, author Stephen Covey shared a story involving a young father and his children on a train. Covey was seated on the train, preparing for a long weekend in front of him. He expected a nice, quiet ride while he read through his favorite periodical. The children, however, had other ideas. They were loud and boisterous and the father seemed quite oblivious. Increasingly annoyed, Covey eventually made his way to the father and asked him to control his children. You can imagine his shock and dismay when he was told that the man and his kids had just come from the hospital, where their wife/mother has passed away. Covey uses the story to speak about paradigms, or the way that we see things. If we have rigid, me-first perspectives on what should happen, such thinking will impact how we act and communicate.  If, however, we condition ourselves to think more in terms of what others want and need, as well as to set more realistic expectations for situations (such as taking public transportation), then we can approach them with more patience and balance.
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What to say when you have no words - A Jewish look at simcha

Succos is called “zman simchaseinu.” The reasons for this are many but the underlying theme for all of them is that this time of year is particularly joyful and one that we should experience in a celebratory fashion.

But how can we be joyous when four orphans must mourn for their murdered parents, who brutal deaths they witnessed firsthand? How can we sing and celebrate when bloodthirsty murderers extoll their deaths and encourage more, training their children to hate Jews and conduct jihad?

What kind of smile should come to our lips as we watch footage of Jewish worshippers in the Old City, including children and even infants, who are mercilessly harassed on their way to or from the Western Wall?

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