Oftentimes, the biggest obstacle for a new leader has little to do with how well she knows the job or whether she possesses the right technical skills. In fact, most leadership experts identify poor interpersonal qualities and practices as the main reason that so many new leaders stumble out of the gate. They suggest that such relational transgressions as not communicating often, not being available for people on a consistent basis, and being unpredictable emotionally are primary contributors to new leaders failing to gain traction.

These and other negative interpersonal behaviors may mean that a person is weak in the area of Emotional intelligence (EI.) EI refers to a person’s ability to understand and manage his/her personal emotions and interpersonal conduct, as well as those of the people around him/her. People who rank high in EI are in tune with their feelings and emotions and can accurately predict how they might affect other people.

business, coaching, education, leadership, relationshipsNaphtali HoffFebruary 24, 2016leaders, leadership, Emotional, emotional intelligenceComment

The first 90 days: Getting off on the right foot

Leaders’ early actions, especially for those with more challenging leadership responsibilities, can often determine whether they succeed or fail. Harvard professor and leadership transition expert Michael Watkins writes in his best-selling book The first 90 days, that “When leaders derail, their problems can almost always be traced to vicious cycles that developed in the first few months on the job.” According to Watkins, what leaders do early on during a job transition is what matters most. Colleagues and others form opinions about them based on the limited information that they have available, and, once those opinions are formed, it can be quite difficult to change their minds in the months and even years that follow.

business, coaching, leadership, relationshipsNaphtali HoffFebruary 2, 2016leaders, leadership, change management, transition, transitional leadershipComment

Being an abundant mentor

Mentoring programs typically fail because one or more positive ingredients listed above are missing. Without question, the mentor’s head has to be fully in the game. When I first began as a head of school, I was assigned an experienced mentor from a different school on the other side of the country. He agreed to help me as a favor, and, predictably, as the school year progressed and his schedule became increasingly more filled, our time together dwindled to the point that the relationship had practically ended on its own.

In addition, a mentor has to be able to earn the protégé’s trust. That is not as simple as it sounds. In addition to demonstrating capacity, effective mentors find ways to make their protégés genuinely feel that they have the mentor’s best interests in mind.

One great way by which to build such trust is to think in abundance. Abundance theory sees the world as offering infinite possibilities. It suggests that not only is there plenty to go around (the opposite of scarcity thinking) but it also posits that my helping others will help me, in terms of sharpening my skillset and building increased capacity and demand within the field.

business, coaching, education, leadership, relationships, teachingNaphtali HoffJanuary 14, 2016leaders, leadership, learning, mentor, mentorship, abundanceComment

Where did it all go? Thoughts about student memory and retention

Have you ever taught something and your class really seemed to get it, only to revisit the concept a short while later, and it’s as if they never heard of it? Better yet, have you patted yourself on the back after your students aced an exam only for you to ask a related question two days later and get back a class full of blank stares? It’s almost as if their minds were one big etch-a-sketch that had once memorized lots of information before being wiped clean.

If you’re like me, you’ve had that experience more than once. And we all know how it feels. It can be one of the most frustrating experiences for a teacher, seemingly invalidating all of the hard work — in terms of preparation, content delivery and reinforcement — of the past many weeks. Why does this happen and what can teachers do to ensure that students properly process and retain key information?

education, relationships, memory, teachingNaphtali HoffJanuary 14, 2016education, memory, retention, teaching, teachers, students, learning, schoolComment

Being right isn’t always the goal

Different viewpoints are based off of the unique approaches, biases and inclinations that we bring to situations. However, where we get ourselves into trouble, particularly in the workplace, is when we assume that our perspective is the only one that exists, let alone the only one that matters.

Such narrow thinking can be even more damaging for leaders. Not only does it prevent them from grasping opportunities and identifying challenges that only others are attuned to, but it can lead to discontent and frustration in others who do not feel heard or valued.

How can we make sure to avoid such thinking and ensure that we not only become more mindful of other views but actively seek them out?

business, coaching, leadership, relationshipsNaphtali HoffJanuary 5, 2016leaders, leadership, relationships, communicationComment

Chanukah: When the bullied can't rise up in personal defense

The holiday of Chanukah presents many lessons. In the main, these lessons stem from the valiant struggle in which a few Hasmonean fighters valiantly rose up against their Seleucid tormentors and successfully rid the land of their presence.

While Chanukah celebrates the defeat of the mighty by the weak, the many by the few, and the wicked by the righteous, many people, children in particular, continue to suffer at the hands of bullies and others who are, at least on the surface, mightier than they.

Thankfully, there are many resources that offer tips on how to deal with bullies and empower their victims to become stronger and turn the tables on their oppressors. In this HelpGuide post, the author(s) outline multiple strategies that victims can use to change their situation for the better.

education, relationshipsNaphtali HoffDecember 9, 2015bullying, education, response, chanukah, hanukkah Comment

Abundance Theory in the Workplace

A few years back, I had made the decision to shift careers from school leadership to that of executive coach and consultant. To that end, I enrolled in a doctoral program studying human and organizational psychology. In my first course, I was told to interview someone who was in the same field that I sought to pursue and ask that person a series of questions relating to their career path.

After doing some research, I found two successful women that fit the bill. While both were pleasant to speak with and generous with their time, one in particular, a coach and trainer, shared some things that really made an impression on me. She said that she had benefitted from others’ expertise when she had gotten started and was always looking for ways to “pay it forward” to other aspiring professionals. The fact that I was planning to move to her general area and serve similar clients did not deter her from giving freely of her advice. She even met me on another occasion over lunch to talk further about how to help me transition and grow my business.

This woman’s behavior not only helped me to get started but she also inspired me to rethink a lifelong script that had become part of my inner thinking and attitude. I refer specifically to Scarcity Theory.

business, coaching, relationships, leadershipNaphtali HoffDecember 7, 2015abundance, theory, mindset, leadership, leaders Comments

The Maccabee in You

As a leader, you know that leadership offers great opportunities to guide and inspire others, to set the agenda and see it to fruition. However, it also can place us in compromised situations, where we feel as if we have lost control of the situation around us and need to engage in damage control. There are even times when we step into a leadership role that did not previously exist in order to address a need, a problem or a concern, oftentimes a pressing one at that. Such was the case of Matthias, the elderly priest who assumed an expanded leadership role at a time of great national duress in order to save his nation and the Torah that they treasured.

In this article, I will aim to distill leadership lessons from within the broader historical context, lessons that we can apply within our own lines of work and our lives in general.

1. Understand the objective - For most of our nation's history, we have lived in exile (either in the literal sense or in our homeland under foreign subjugation). While in exile, we enjoyed varying levels of freedoms and autonomy, but were generally content to subvert ourselves to our host nation so long as we were given the freedom to live religiously as Jews.

Matthias and his sons had no interest in attacking the Seleucid forces. They had fled to Modiin, a small hamlet on the outskirts of Jerusalem, because they knew that it would give them a better opportunity to live a Torah-observant lifestyle than in the now-Hellenized capital. Knowing what was of primary importance to them is what drove their decision to relocate as well as all of their subsequent ones.

How being thankful can make their day… and yours

As we prepare ourselves for the Thanksgiving spirit, let us take a few minutes to think about who has made a positive impact in our lives, both large and small. Then see what you can do to offer thanks, such as by calling them up, sending them a quick note, or perhaps even a gift.

When you offer thanks, remember to specify why you are appreciative and how that made you feel or what that did in terms of assisting you in some way. Such added detail deepens the gesture exponentially and helps reinforce the behavior in others.

coaching, leadership, relationshipsNaphtali HoffNovember 23, 2015Thanksgiving, appreciation, thanks, love, peaceComment

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