Don't Let a Good Excuse Become Your New Normal
I had every reason to stop
Most people stop at the point where it gets uncomfortable. That's usually right where the growth starts.
I was reminded of this recently, about 24 hours into a fast.
I had already fasted on two recent Jewish fast days, including Yom Kippur. When the holiday season ended, after having consumed more than my fair share of delicious homemade food, I decided to do one more.
Twenty-four hours in, I could have called it. Nobody would have blamed me. Two fasts in a few weeks is plenty, and I had a perfectly good reason to stop at that point.
But I kept going, all the way to 36 hours.
Why I kept going
The obvious answer would be the health benefits of a longer fast. Those played a part, but they weren't the main reason. Two other things kept me going.
First, I was already through the hardest part. The rest was mostly overnight, and sleeping through it was a breeze by comparison. Stopping then would have meant paying the full price and walking away just before collecting.
Second, I didn't want 24 hours to become my new normal. This was the bigger reason. Every time we stop where we always stop, we teach our minds that this is the limit. I wanted to show mine that it isn't.
The physical result was nice: my lowest weight in as long as I can remember. But the real win was mental. I proved to myself that the line I'd been treating as a wall was really just a habit.
(A quick note: extended fasting isn't right for everyone. If you're considering it, talk with your doctor first. This post is about the mindset, not a fasting plan.)
How new normals form
This isn't really about fasting. It's about how standards slip, and leaders face it every week.
New normals are rarely chosen. They form one reasonable exception at a time:
You skip a one-on-one because the week got away from you. Then it happens again, and monthly becomes the rhythm.
You take back a task you delegated because "it's faster if I just do it this time." Soon it's yours again for good.
You let a missed deadline slide because the person had a tough month. The team learns what deadlines actually mean.
You push your planning time to Friday, then to next week. Reactive days become the default.
None of these feels like a decision to lower the bar. Each one has a good excuse behind it.
That's what makes a good excuse more dangerous than a bad one. You'd reject a bad excuse on sight. A good one slips through, and then it quietly becomes the standard.
How to push past the old line
When your mind says stop, here's what helps, whether it's a fast, a workout, or a hard leadership habit.
Ask whether you're done or just uncomfortable. The two feel almost identical in the moment, but they aren't the same. Discomfort is a signal to pay attention, not automatically a signal to quit.
Look at where you are on the curve. The hardest part is often behind you right when quitting feels most reasonable. The early stretch of a new delegation habit is usually the messiest. Bail out then and you never see the payoff.
Shrink the goal. Not "12 more hours." Just "until bedtime," then "until morning." For leaders, not "stop doing everything myself." Just "hand off this one task and don't take it back this week."
Remember why you started. A clear "why" outlasts a tired "want." Write it down somewhere you'll see it when the excuse shows up.
Treat it as training. Each time you push past the old line, the next push gets easier. You're not just finishing this one effort. You're resetting what your mind accepts as normal.
The line is usually a habit, not a wall
Plateaus are rarely real limits. More often, they're agreements we made with ourselves and stopped questioning.
So the next time you have a good reason to stop, ask one more question. Is this where I'm actually done, or just where I usually stop?
If you're a leader whose standards have been slipping because everything still runs through you, you may have become the bottleneck. That's fixable. I help business owners and organizational leaders build teams that run without them, and win back 5 to 8 hours a week in 90 days.
Book a free 30-minute Bottleneck Call and we'll find where your time is going and what to hand off first.
Naphtali Hoff, PsyD, is the founder of Impactful Coaching & Consulting, helping executives, school leaders, and nonprofit professionals lead with more clarity and less overwhelm. He can be reached at nh@impactfulcoaching.com or 212.470.6139.