I used to think that our phones were making us antisocial. Go on a train or walk into a room with lots of folks and you'll see almost everyone trained on their screens. This is so disheartening. And so common. But then I see pics of folks 50-100 years ago going off to work or waiting in line, each with a newspaper open before them. No conversation. No connection. Times, they really haven't been a 'changin.
Read MoreAs a coach, it is relatively common to be contacted by individuals who feel stuck. Often, these people are mid-late career and struggle in their current position.
Their challenges often include, but are not limited to:
Long, grueling workdays
Insufficient pay
Lack of passion for their work
Managers who mistreat them
Working in industries, such as tight-knit community businesses, in which “everyone knows everyone”, limiting their ability to make lateral career moves
Ironically, when we unpack their situations and identify pathways forward, they are often unprepared or unwilling to take the kind of action necessary to break free.
Read MoreThe transition from dependence to independence exists in many arenas, including the workplace. As leaders, we want to quickly help our newly employed or repositioned personnel move from needy and dependent, requiring lots of direction, to confident self-reliant, and thus capable for being delegated to.
Here are some steps that can help expedite the process of making your people more independent.
Avoid micromanaging – It is very common for managers and supervisors to want to ensure that their newest additions feel properly supported. They also want to avoid early mess-ups. So, they micromanage and insist on being involved in every step. While this is understandable, it is also detrimental to the new person’s growth. Find ways to allow them the space to work without constant direction, so that they can spread their wings.
Be willing to let them fail – Jon Brodsky of Finder.com takes the approach of letting his newly-appointed managers fast and forward. This does not mean that they get tossed into the deep-water section with the hope they quickly figure out how to swim. Instead, the goal is to give them space and permission (if not encouragement) to fail in controlled, low-stakes ways. This will allow them to learn from the process and start self-correcting. In the long-term, this learning will be far more valuable and lasting.
Can you be nice and still get things done? Is it possible to be pleasant and still respected?
The short answer is yes. It is possible to balance the two, to set high expectations and yet find ways to be giving, demonstrate care, and go the extra mile. (For more about leaderships styles and how to best leverage your style with others’ needs, clink here.)
Leading others is less about choosing a persona (changing who we are at our core can be awfully difficult and can lead to all sorts of unwanted side effects) and more about finding a way for your inner self to balance against what your people really need.
Read MoreIf you are like most people, you will take some time on New Year’s Day to reflect on the outgoing year and set some resolutions for the year ahead.
Maybe you’ll decide to make a lifestyle change, such as eating healthier and exercising more.
Perhaps you’ll determine that it is time for more work-life balance or to travel more often.
You may set some business-related goals, such as making more sales calls or taking other action steps that will improve your bottom line.
These, or any other constructive goals, are the first step in living a better, more fulfilled life.
Read MoreHow can we stay positive when the "weather" that surrounds us is bleak?
Here are some tips:
Find the positives ➕ - In every situation, there are positives and things to be grateful for. Despite the rain, the weather is quite warm. Actually, the warmest we're had in weeks. A down market offers opportunities to buy on the cheap. Reduced volume gives us time to think and strategize about how to grow when the trends reverse.
It's all pointing up ⬆️ - Starting tomorrow, the day will begin to lengthen. It will be a long climb, but it will happen. The rain will clear out as well. We can't predict when we've hit bottom in our personal lives, but past experiences tell us that better days are ahead.
Loneliness is, in a relative sense, measured in the eyes of the beholder. Some argue that the loneliest professionals in the world are those who toil in isolation, with limited opportunity for interpersonal communication. Yet there are others who weigh loneliness not by the frequency or infrequency of their interactions with others but rather with the quality of such exchanges.
Read MoreRecently, I was out driving on the highway during a rain storm. I signaled right and started to switch lanes. The problem was that, due to low visibility, I failed to see a van that was moving into the same space. It’s tail swiped the front side of my car.
For the next few days, I drove around with increased hesitation. Before turning, I would double and triple check. My driving speeds were down a few miles. In general, I was more cautious. After a while, however, I was back to my New York driver self, navigating the streets with (semi) reckless abandon.
It’s common for people who experience a setback to be more cautious the next time. The problem is, many folks will often view a single failure as an indictment on past efforts and not try again. For example, they make a large number of sales calls that don’t convert. Or they produce a product, service or program that they believe will sell and get almost no response. So, they quickly throw in the towel and give up.
Read MoreThese are the key things that I think if we focus on could really help us move the needle and get unstuck and get going.
Ignore, or, better yet, drive back your inner critic – Often, we can be our own worst enemies. We can do the work, but we talk ourselves into thinking that we can’t. When this happens, be willing to push back and engage in some positive self-talk. Examples include: (1) “You CAN do this! That’s why they promoted you.” (2) “You’ve been in situations like this before and have always come through.” (3) “Just ask someone who was in a similar situation how they handled it.”
Envision yourself breaking through – Ask yourself this: Suppose that overnight, while you are asleep, a miracle occurs and you are no longer stuck. Instead, you have achieved your goal and then some! When you wake up in the morning, everything is exactly how you want it. What do you notice is different? What is the first thing you see?
